“Erin’s a construct, man! This whole thing’s a dream. You’re dreaming right now, man!” —Horse Badorties

“A meager grasp of capitalism.” —Heffe Bozo

“A bit awkward.” —Chad Farthouse

“Kind, loving, and cussy.” —son, age 9

“Thoughtful, kind, caring, curse-y.” —daughter, age 16

“I don’t think there are a few words that can draw a full enough picture.” —husband, age 59